Domestic Violence

There's a lot of confusion in this world about one little four-letter word.

L O V E .

What is love?

Love is...

Love is not...

I know these images are horrible and unsettling to look at. But the faces of these women make a grand point. Love and violence have no place together. The two are oil and water.

My mother has been in an abusive marriage for almost 4 years. It is something that has torn our family apart. She met her abuser online and was swept away by a fairy tale of nice houses, luxury cars, and fabulous parties. He lied to her from the gate. He told her he was a successful business man and that he owned x, y, z. He proceeded to convince her to give him close to $250,000, before he even married her. He harassed her continually, although she thought it was signs of his love. He would call her at work repeatedly, break into her home to "surprise" her, and call her cell phone literally every 5 minutes. She quit her job and they were married. He convinced her to sell her car and home, and to of course give that money to him. He immediately began to tap into all of her credit card accounts, maxing them all out and not allowing her to pay the bills. On a number of occasions, he has strangled her with a belt, punched her in the face, and given her bruises up and down her body. He calls her the most horrible names in the book, in private as well as in public. He threatens to do harm to her family, and has even cut my brake lines. She literally knows nothing about him, yet she believes that he is in the mafia and that if she leaves him, he'll put a hit out on her and the rest of the family. She believes he knows everyone in every police force and therefore they cannot to be trusted. She believes that he loves her.

And most painfully, she believes that she loves him.

She has had her chances to escape and repeatedly returns to him. She is your classic example of what happens to the mind of a victim of domestic violence. She refuses help. Because of this, I've almost given up hope for her return. I've basically lost my mom and my daughter has never known her grandmother.

This man may be able to silence her, but he will not silence me.

Maybe even if my mom is so far down this horrible cycle to never return, someone else isn't.

Maybe someone will read this and have the courage to escape.

This is not the life my mom wants. But this is all she thinks she's worth. This man has robbed her of everything. She literally prays at night for him to die so that she can be free because she thinks that's the only way out.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, know this-

THERE ARE WAYS OUT.

There is a whole network of people waiting to help you.

They can keep you safe.

But they can only help you if you ask for it.

No fairy godmother is going to come rescue you, you need to stand up for yourself and your family and GET OUT.

If nothing else, think of your children and how you are making them suffer.

Think of your mother and father and how much it kills them to see this happen to their baby.

Think of the person you were before this and what you would say to a friend who told you their husband beat them up.

Resources for victims of domestic violence:

www.domesticviolence.org

Common Ground Sanctuary 1-800-996-8808

HAVEN 1-877-922-1274